Walking up to a beautiful woman out of nowhere and introducing yourself is one of the hardest parts of being a man. In fact, it takes so much out of you that, a lot of the time, you forget the next important step of the conversation: Actually having something to talk about. Luckily, if you follow these tips you won’t have a problem maintaining a conversation with a woman.

Tip 1: Non-Verbals are Important

More than anything else, non-verbal cues are what distinguish a good conversation from a bad one. If you’ve ever seen two people really hitting it off from across the bar, you can tell they’re into each other right away. It doesn’t matter if the actual discussion they’re having is about quantum physics or a debate on the value of the Earnest movies, the fact that they’re into each other is evident with how they move together.

In the same way, when talking to a woman you want to make her feel comfortable and project that you’re a confident man. A great pickup artist once told me that the correct way to approach any girl in a conversation is to have it in your mind that she’s already told you that she’s going to sleep with you later that night. That way, in your head at least, there is absolutely no pressure. Since it’s going to happen anyway (in your head, remember) you can talk about anything you want and can be more comfortable. However, talking in a comfortable pose (remember: non-verbals) can often lead to that fantasy scenario actually coming true.

Tip 2: Talk about your passions

Mystery has said it in the past: “Enthusiasm breeds enthusiasm.” So if you are passionate about something, don’t be afraid to show it. Now, there is a fine line to take here – you don’t want to needlessly steer the conversation into the direction of your passions all the time – but if you happen  to start to talk about the stock market, and that’s something you’re truly passionate about, don’t be afraid to show it. Women are always looking for men to show their emotions, and passion is one.

Tip 3: Playground mentality

Go into the conversation with a “playground mentality”, as in, feel free to tell stupid jokes or give her strange high-fives here and there. By using that 3rd grade humor, you’ll get her to feel comfortable in the conversation, which is one of the most important parts. As long as you show her you’re a fun guy – no need to keep a sourpuss on your face like some emo rock star – then she’ll be more apt to want to talk to you again down the line.

Tip 4: Don’t ask too many questions

While women love to talk about themselves – and the easiest way to do this is by badgering them with a bunch of questions – too much can lead to the conversation feeling like an interrogation. Instead, after she’s answered an initial question, feel free to follow that up with a statement.

For example, after you ask her if she has any pets, and she mentions she has three cats, don’t go right into the question about what their names are. Once you found that out, there’s not a whole lot of places to go with the conversation. Instead, say something like “I heard that cat lovers are more inclined to be independent than dog lovers” which will open up the conversation a bit and get her to talk about herself without her feelings like you’re putting her under the hot spotlight of the interrogation room.

Tip 5: Lengthen your answers

When she asks a bit about yourself, try to lengthen the answer a bit instead of just answering the question directly. While there’s a fine art of doing this – you don’t want to give too much away, remember, as that will take away a lot of the mystery surrounding you – it is better to give a longer answer than a shorter one in most cases.

For example, if she asks you what you like, a good answer is not to say “I like baseball.” Instead, answer like this: “I like baseball because it reminds me of the time my dad spent playing catch with me in the yard, building our father-son connection.” From there, the conversation can go into all sorts of places and you’ve also shown your soft side by opening up a bit about your feelings. Win-win!

Tip 6: Use cold reads

The art of cold-reading is important. In it, you use clues from either how she’s standing, what she’s wearing, or what she’s talking about to make correct assumptions about her. It’s going to take some practice, but generally speaking if you’re getting a feeling about a girl, you’re going to be right about it.

For example, if she continues talking about a large amount of ex-boyfriends, tell her that she “seems like the type of girl who has a hard time settling down because she craves too much excitement out of life.” Not only will you show her that you’ve been paying attention this whole time to the conversation, but also now the conversation can once again be about her, a topic no woman doesn’t enjoy. more »

"The Six Most Deadly Conversation Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women" And What To Do About It..."

Here are the top five ways men murder their conversations with women before they ever even have a chance to create attraction.

Let's face it…

If you want to create attraction in a woman… you must possess the ability to talk.

You can know all the "secret attraction building techniques" in the world… but if you can't carry a conversation… YOU GET NO WHERE….  (Don't worry, we'll discuss some of those "secret attraction building techniques in later newsletters)

Right now I want to concentrate on the exact ways you're killing your conversations… probably without realizing it.

Mistake #1:  Breaking the 90/10 Rule When Starting a Conversation

Have you ever noticed that most conversations don't pick up steam until about 5-10 minutes in?

This is because when you start talking to someone new, especially somebody you do not know yet, they are going to be just as cold inside their heads as you were before you psyche yourself up – making yourself ready to start that conversation.

A conversation needs time to build "conversation momentum."

The problem most guys face is that don't ever give their conversations a chance to build that "momentum." 

Most guys expect to hit this "conversation flow" too quickly.  And because of this the opposite effect happens… and their conversations just "stall out."

Well you have to carry the conversation. Be prepared, in the first five or so minutes, to carry the conversation by providing 90, or even sometimes 100, percent of all the content until they get warmed up a little bit.

How do you do that?

Keep talking!
Well the rule is very simple: Just keep talking.

By taking control of the conversation right from the beginning, you allow her time to "warm up" and shift her brain from "receive mode" rather than "give mode."

In future lessons I'm going to show you exactly what tools you need to be able to do this… but for now, just know you HAVE be prepared to talk 90% of the time for the first 5-10 minutes of your conversations….

Mistake #2: Not Recognizing the Signals a Woman is Giving Them

You have to recognize the signals that women are giving to you so you know whether you have got the right kind of emotional intensity – the right energy – and whether the topics you are talking about are actually even appropriate for this point in the conversation.

How do you do that?

Well, you use your senses. Your eyes and your ears are your best friends. You have got to watch people’s reactions and learn to be able to read them.

You have a good sense of when you are boring her, when she is excited and how she is reacting to you. You just have to make sure you pay attention.

The rule of thumb is when you first start a conversation with someone or with a group of people you want to have a little bit more energy than that group had before you came in.

If you get to recognize where she is at in terms of her energy level, her enthusiasm, her excitement, how her neurology is wired up and lit up, and you can pitch your own energy level to be just slightly above that, you will be sure to be a success wherever you go because you will not be too much and you will not be too little.

Mistake #3:  Not Assuming Rapport Right From the Beginning

For the longest time I could never understand why it took so long for me to develop rapport with women… while my friends seem to jump right into it…

And then it hit me…

I was waiting for rapport to happen naturally… they were assuming it.

When you are talking to a woman, even if it's your first time talking to her… talk to her in the same laid back way you would talk to an old friend.

Most guys do the complete opposite… they talk to a woman in a "stiff, formal" way reserved for strangers…. And this just makes it more apparent that you are a STRANGER.  And this puts her guard up.  And this creates that uncomfortable "awkwardness" that is devastating to a conversation.

By jumping right into rapport you create a more natural feeling conversation and give her the feeling of "knowing you forever."

Mistake #4:  Going into "Interview Mode"

I know you've experienced it… talking to a woman, and feeling like you're on a job interview.

This is the dreaded "interview mode."

This happens when you don't know what to talk about so to keep the conversation going you ask questions like:

What do you do for a living?
What do you do for fun?
Where did you grow up?
What kind of music do you like?

It's not the questions themselves that kill you… the rapid firing of question after question… and the steady stream of fact based answers that destroy any sort of "chemistry."

A conversation is supposed to fun vibing back and forth… it's not supposed to feel like a job interview.

Mistake #5:  Letting her "Lead" the Conversation

Most guys are so unsure of themselves when talking to a woman that they look for the woman to give them "approval" or "permission" before they take any lead in the conversation.

And this is DEAD wrong.

The minute a woman realizes you're looking to her to lead the conversation… her attraction instantly disappears.

Most guys let the woman lead the conversation because they are scared of "pissing her off" or choosing the wrong topic…

But here is the thing…

Women will follow whatever tone you set for the conversation.  If you set a fun, flirty vibe… she will follow.

And even if she isn't interested in the topic you've chose to discuss… she'll still respect you a lot more for taking the initiative.

The Biggest Mistake:

Do you want to know what the biggest mistake men make in regards to their conversations with women?

Not getting help.

Would you believe that 10 years ago it was nearly impossible to find this sort of information on improving your conversations with women?  This meant that guys were forced to either struggle forever, or figure it out on their own.

However, you have no excuse… as there is help available.  Help that can change your "game" almost overnight.

Even though it has been close to five years since I last struggled with this… I still know the pain you feel… I had felt it for more than two thirds of my life.  And I don't wish that pain on anyone.

Now, I know that anytime, anywhere I can go out and talk to women and create attraction.

This is what fueled to me to create a program about this.  I asked 5 of the guys I know who are the absolute best at talking to women… to join me on this program to help create that change in you – a lot quicker than it took me.

It's jam packed with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for creating the right mindset for talking to a woman, getting "in the zone", making her laugh, creating rapport, keeping a conversation flowing naturally, overcoming "shit tests", dealing with guys who might be overshadowing you, and most importantly, creating attraction as you talk to her…

This is arguably the most comprehensive "conversation training" you will ever receive.  There is no way you can listen to this program and not come away with at least a dozen tips that will change the way you communicate with women …nearly immediately. more »

For something that should seem simple, it was only recently that I realized what it takes to make girls laugh.

For the longest time, I thought girls would be attracted to the same types of jokes and humor that my guy friends are into. They would love the sarcastic wit and cleverness that my guy friends always seemed to enjoy. Comedy is universal after all, right?

Wrong.

While girls were ignoring my attempts at humor, I was constantly watching friends who were not witty at all landing girls from every side. What was it? What did I need to do to make women laugh?

What do women find funny?

I picked up a book about four years ago that had some great ideas in it about how to make women laugh. Among them was that women like a guy who’s cocky and funny. This made sense – women were always going for the “bad guy”, right? – so I thought I’d give it a try.

When I would go out, trying to make women laugh, immediately I’d start in being sarcastic and ironic, almost bullying the women. While some women were immediately against that kind of humor, I was getting a few positive reactions so I went with it.

Wrong move.

I found out that the women who I was getting the positive reactions from were, let’s say, the “tomboys” of the group. The more masculine girls out there, probably the ones who have been hanging out with their own brothers and father more than they were their sisters and mother. Not bad overall, but a small minority of the women out there. In other words, while I was a hit among this small section of women, I was leaving a large group of girls – the ordinary girls – out there.

One day I decided to spend an entire night watching my friend Will interact with girls. Will wasn’t what I’d call hilarious, but he always had girls around him that were having a fun time. While the girls weren’t in stitches, he was still getting his fair share of ladies on a constant basis. And he was using nothing but fun times, not cleverly worded puns or one-liners.

And then it hit me: Girls don’t want funny, they want fun! Just like the Cyndi Lauper song!

Will was having all sorts of fun with these girls. Whether it was just telling them knock-knock jokes or tickling them, he was like a kid on the schoolyard out there. And that’s what I realized: I needed to be a school kid out there. Women don’t care about cleverness, they just want to have fun. They don’t want dark, indie movie. They want romantic comedy.

Instead of pretending to be all sophisticated and cool with your dark humor, take the stick out of your ass and just have a fun time. That’s all that the women want, someone to have fun with.

So when you’re out there, remember: Fun, not funny. more »

Talking to a beautiful woman is, as we all know, one of the hardest things to do. It takes so much energy just to get the nerve to walk up to the woman in the first place that you kind of forget that you actually need something to talk to her about, leaving you a mess of awkward silence before she finally picks up her stakes and moves on to the next guy. Luckily, if you follow the following easy-to-use tips, you’ll never have to worry about these moments of awkwardness ever again.

Tip 1: Remember Your Cold Reads

If you’ve gotten this far in life, you know that women are different from men. Men, in general, like to get bogged down in the details of things, facts, events, the surface level of stories. Women, meanwhile, are the more “mystical” of the two sexes, speaking more about emotions and what things mean on a deeper sense. One way to show a woman that you can think just as deeply as her is through cold reads. 

How you do this is simple: Just like in poker, where someone tries to “read” another person just by the kind of face they’re making, make a read about the girl, and then tell her. For example, if the woman mentions a few of her ex-boyfriends, say something like “I bet you’re the type of girl who can’t really settle down because you seem to lose interest quickly. Instead, you’re really looking for someone who can satisfy your need for adventure.” From there, the two of you can psychoanalyze her, bringing together two aspects of conversation that women love: Talking about themselves and talking about deep feelings.

Tip 2: Convert “Safe” Topics

When a man is nervous, he tends to stay on “safe” topics for a large percentage of time, knowing in his mind that he has to in order to keep the woman from feeling uncomfortable. However, certain women tend to crave being made uncomfortable since they no longer have the control when it comes to the conversation; it’s the same mentality as why women like the “bad guys”. As a result, turn “safe” topics that you’re talking about into “unsafe” ones.

For example, if the conversation gets into how one of you has a dog and one of you has a cat, tell her that “you’ve heard of studies where cat and dog owners can never get into a lasting relationship because of their two personalities … however, the study also showed that they made the best lovers because of that.” You just turned a boring topic about pets into one about sex. Move from there.

Tip 3: Become a Storyteller

Storytellers are natural attention-getters. Look at any movie, TV show or even music group you like and you’ll see that they are generally populated by amazing storytellers. It’s no surprise then that women are naturally attracted to storytellers.

The best part about a conversation with a woman you’ve never met is that you have all of your stories still at your disposal. As such, don’t be afraid to embellish a little but, at the same time, allow the woman certain clues to know about the kind of person you are. You see, during this story she is not only listening to your narrative, but is also trying to find out what kind of guy you are by reading in between the lines. For example, if you tell a story starting with the phrase “I get up early for work” she’ll assume that you are some kind of businessman with a high-paying job, and you never even had to give her that information. Littering your story with small clues like that that show you in a positive light are the most important part of becoming the storyteller. more »

If you want to meet, attract, and date more women then you need to learn how to flirt with women.  The best way to do this is learn a few good flirting techniques and then to go out and practice them.  In this article I will give you a five step process for creating that fun, flirtatious vibe that women are most attracted to.

1.  Get playful
The first characteristic that you want to display to a woman is that you’re playful.  This is because women hate getting stuck talking to nervous, cautious, and boring guys.    As soon as you demonstrate to a woman that you are fun guy… she will put her guard down and begin opening up to you more.

2.  Tease her
A great way to flirt with a woman is to tease her.  As you're talking to her look for an opportunity to make fun of something she is doing.  Don't be mean or cruel, you're just looking to 'bust her balls' about something silly she has done or said.

3.  Use physical teases
After you've used verbal teasing to let her know you're flirting with her, you can then begin to physically tease her.  Physical teases include making an exaggerated expression as she is telling a story, sticking your tongue out at her, or pulling your hand away when she goes to give you high five.
If these sound childish.. they are meant to.  The best examples of flirting are the sort of things you used to do back on the playground in the fourth grade.

4.  Keep her guessing
Women love the suspense of not knowing exactly how you feel about them.  Once you come right out and tell a girl you like her, the sexual tension that was building between the two of  you begins to die down.  This is why it is always better to never quite let her know where she stands with you.  This idea of push/pull is a powerful technique when flirting with a woman.

5.  Escalate the flirtation
Once you've established yourself as a fun, flirty type of guy, you must begin taking the conversation to a more sexual level.  This is because you don't want to come across as the "funny friend" or "the flirt"… instead, you want her to begin seeing you as a guy she would like to get intimate with.  The best way to do this is become more physical.  This means you do things like hold her hand, hold eye contact longer, and get closer to her. more »

You can spend all the time you want on your looks, book reservations at the perfect restaurant or find the best bar in the area, and make all of the money you want, but when it comes to charming a woman, it all comes down to the conversation. Which is why it’s so frustrating when certain conversations seem to go nowhere, only ending up with large moments of awkward silence before the two of you go your separate ways. The problem is that you are focusing on the wrong topics of conversation. Luckily, it’s an easy fix.

By utilizing the following conversation topics, you’ll be able to attract women by turning good conversations into great conversations.

1. Your childhood

No matter how old you are, your childhood will always hold a special place in your heart. By opening yourself up and letting the woman know what kind of circumstances you come from, you’ll not only show her your emotional side, but also give her a chance to relate. By opening up the floor for conversation topics about childhood, she will have her own experiences she will want to talk about, allowing her to shoulder a lot of the conversation itself.

2. Your passions

This is the easiest topic to use for two reasons. First, it allows the woman to (once again) see your emotional side, something that will only help win her over. Second, it gives you a chance to talk about something you actually enjoy talking about! This will make the conversation float easily, taking the weight off of it. In the same way, after talking about your own passions, steer the conversation in the direction of hers, asking her a lot of questions about what she enjoys doing. Later on when she thinks about the conversation she had with you, she’ll remember it being a lot of fun because she was talking about what she loves.

3. Your surroundings

Since this is a woman you’ve spent very little time with, you don’t have a lot of common experiences from which to draw from … except the current experience you’re having. Form a bond with her by discussing your surroundings, whether it be the type of bar you’re currently in, the food in the restaurant, or the people surrounding you. One thing I love doing whenever I’m talking with a woman is making up back stories for the various strangers surrounding us. This puts us in a collaborative mood and allows me to flex my creative side.

4. Her ambitions

While talking about your current job and your past is all well and good, women put a lot of stock into where the man is going. But even more important than that is getting her to speak about her own future ambitions. This will, once again, steer the conversation in her direction, letting her talk about herself. Also, it will boost the emotional state of the conversation, since no one can talk about their own ambitions without getting a little bit excited about them.

5. Her travels

Travel is always a fun topic, but this is a part where it’s best to step back and let her talk. While the places you’ve traveled could be great, and you could have so many stories from your various adventures, too many of those and it looks like you’re trying too hard to impress her. Instead, start the topic off about travel and then start inquiring about her own stories. This will showcase her various passions, desires, world views, etc. which you can call back later on in the conversation.

6. Your life lessons

While this isn’t necessarily a “topic”, it’s important to shade all of your conversations by asking yourself this question: What lesson has this taught you? By having this depth in every topic of conversation, you are not only showcasing the depth of your own thought (again, something women enjoy finding in men), but also once again spreading the branches of the conversation tree as far as they can go. Instead of just talking about this fight you got into in 5th grade (one topic) you can talk about your various feelings that were going through your mind at the time and the lessons you’ve learned from the fight (many topics). From there, the conversation will expand on its own.

7. Your thoughts on pop culture / current events

If worse comes to worse, use any thoughts you have on pop culture or current events to keep the conversation from falling into any awkward silences. However, don’t use this conversation topic too often or else you will come off as boring and with no depth. more »